I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
Or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain things are to be loved,
In secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
But carries in itself the light of hidden flowers.
Thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
Risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way
Than this: where I does not exist nor you,
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

sometimes, when you've let go a person, you have every reason to doubt the decision you just made. you ask yourself, was it the right thing to do? is everything going to be alright after this? will i not regret this for the rest of my life? after such a heartbreaking tragedy, you find yourself caught in a bottomless pool of emptiness and loneliness that you can't seem to find the strength to breathe. the heavy burden of guilt, confunsion, and dillusions paralyze every inch of your body, such that smiling seems to be the most difficult thing to do. and you wonder: if i did the right thing, and what's right is supposed to make a person happy, then why am i the loneliest person in the world?

to be continued...

WHAT...

..is in your closet that you treasure most?
er.. money?

..song that makes you wanna dance?
Hey Ya (outkast)

..you bring anywhere with you?
money and cell phone :D cant live w/o 'em

..do you do first upon waking up?
open my eyes??
check the time

..time do you usually go to sleep?
usually around 1am.... when i was an RO addict, i'd sleep at 8am the next day =(

..is the scariest movie ever?
The Grudge (gives me the creeps)

..makes you tremble?
pag ginugulat ako (T_T)

..type of clothes do you like wearing?
jeans, shirt

..youve been thinking lately?
going to sleep...

..part of your body do you adore?
my hair :D

..have you done to pamper yourself lately?
party!!

..is your sleepwear?
pj's, shirt

..do you want to add up to your room?
TV set :D

..scent/perfume do you like best from a man/woman?
anything not too pungent

..would you rather have -coffee or iced tea?
coffee

..is your best trait?
cheerful :D

..what would you rather do -go out or sleep?
right now? i'd rather sleep.. havent slept yet since yesterday (it's 11am already T_T)

..would you rather engaged yourself into- basketball or scuba diving?
scuba diving :D

..in your house do you want to get rid of?
none actually...

..is sexy for you?
self-confident people

..is a romantic date for you?
sharing a magical moment with the one u love

..brings you to tears?
too many to mention... i'm easily moved to tears

..have you eaten before logging in?
mcdonald's mc-omelet

..do you think of long-distance love affair?
it can work if both parties are willing to compromise and sacrifice

..do you pray you rather not have?
i rather not have people who hate me.. but sometimes it can't be avoided =(

..was the last movie you watched in the theater?
bangkok haunted 2!!! omg...

..do you prefer- jeans or skirt?
jeans. i dont look good in skirts

..do you do -jog or swim?
i used to jog, and swim... but i dont do any of those now.

..name would you rather have?
my name still: Natalie Patricia Ann

..makes you lose your temper?
mga taong MAARTE

..food are you craving for lately?
ICE CREAM!!!! (i've been craving for this forever!!)

the world needs now?
love and peace \m/

isn't it strange why of all the usual places to pass gas, it'd have to be on an elevator? where there's not enough air to dilute the awful smell? where there's not enough space for the smell to spread to? where all the people inside can smell it?

according to this article i read years before, a person can fart for at most 34-38 times in a day: sometimes unknowingly, sometimes uncontrollable, sometimes willingly. thus, it's quite normal to catch a person fart once in a while. after all, everyone needs to get rid of the negative gases inside the body. it's what we call the excretory system.

what confuses me most is that whenever we get to have one of those uncontrollable farts, it'd have to be somewhere... enclosed (yep, u guessed it. inside an elevator). everybody inside suffers the suffocating stench, but none of them are actually vulgar enough to comment or react on the situation. polite as they are, they'd just cover their noses, hold their breaths, and hope the elevator door opens soon. i'm not sure if this has become the rule, but it's what usually happens when someone farts.

on the other hand, the culprit would simply act as if he weren't the one responsible. like others, he'd cover his nose and roll his eyes, as if irritated with the smell he caused. before we know it, we're already out of the elevator room, clueless of the criminal who made a few minutes of our lives a living hell, and thankful that finally, we can breathe again.

and since almost everyday of our lives, we get to ride the elevator (most especially true for students and young professionals with n-story buildings), we get to have a higher percentage of being in a "farting incident." sometimes we're the culprits, but oftentimes we're the victims. observe for a month, and you'll see how true this is.

(o.O)

Having conversations with my girl friends is probably one of the most fun thing to do. We get to talk about lots of stuff, anything and everything under the sun. Yesterday, we got the chance to talk about one of the most controversial topics of all time: men and gays. In fact, by the end of the day, we never got to reconcile the greatest nystery of all time. Why do gay men get the better half of the human race?

I mean, if you look around, not all men you pass by are stunning enough to turn your head instantly. In fact, I believe only a small percentage of the men I happen to see everyday are "worthy" enough to catch my attention (well, worthy when it comes to over-all physical appearance anyway). What disappoints me is not that I don't get to have my own beautiful face to have and to hold (yep, am still single and am quite depressed of my status). It's when i see the hands of those beautiful faces inter-locked with the hands of another beautiful face. Damn. Why do they always have to get the good guys?

We girls are having a hard time finding the one guy that will sweep us off our feet. But what do we see? Those guys that would have potentially been OUR prince charming are actually the princesses of another prince! Where's the justice in that? And now considering that the female species are practically dominating the global population, where do we get the assurance that we're actually going to find our The One? How can we find Mr. Right when he's already been found by his own Mr. Right? Why does Mr. Right have to be gay?

='(